Little Thoughts.

Dear Fellow Dreamer,

Life is just one big story.

For example...

I keep trying to write exactly what I want to happen in my life story but, something-or someone-keeps preventing those things I think I want from coming. So, I keep writing draft, after draft, after draft and still...

it changes. I can't seem to prevent it from doing so.

Sounds frustrating, right? Yes, of course it is.

But, when I think about the great Editor who shows me exactly how it needs to change every step of the way, I'm grateful. It seems He can already see the ending, and He knows exactly how my story needs to play out.

So, though I may get frustrated and tired of endless revisions, I know and trust that He will help it flow, twist, and end exactly the way it must.

Just a little thought for the day.

Sincerely,

Erin (.^_^.)

A Little Secret

Dear Fellow Dreamer,


I think mostly everyone I have met has thought of me as being very shy. I am not denying this fact but, mostly, in those moments when others think I look 'sad,' I am daydreaming-a wonderful release where I can be anywhere, be myself, and just...

*breathe*

I am a dreamer.

And, though reality is a harder concept for me to grasp, more often than not, I don't mind it.

This may surprise people but, I do like to talk sometimes. I have a lot of ideas. I'm excited for what the future holds. And, I'm trying my best to 'live in the moment.'

I'm grateful for this life Heavenly Father has given me. I've made the conscious decision not to waste it. (Which is why I'm going to finish my homework after this post...hey, I'm working on it.)

So, as a result, I have a few 'projects' underway. Though I'm not going to promise anything will become of them. I can't do that.

I can, however, say that I'm going to put my heart and soul into them. I can say that my heart starts racing and my mind conjures up wonderful ideas when I think of them. Needless to say, I am excited.

To those friends with whom I have not spoken with in a while, I'm sorry. I miss you. And I hope you're doing well. No, fantastic. :)

To any of you unlikely dreamers reading a post of mine for the first time, a warning: I don't write as regularly as I guess I should but, I will try to make my posts more interesting. And, I hope to welcome you again to my page of nonsense.

To any and all who may have taken the time to read this, I thank you. It does mean a lot. I hope you have a Wonderful night/day, whenever this is read.

Sincerely,

Erin (.^_^.)

Words

Dear Fellow Dreamer,

The excuse I have for not writing for long periods of time: I don't want my words to be just words.

I want them to mean something.

But, I suppose a blog is largely for random thoughts, and daily blahs.

So, aside from the posts I feel are deep-even when they're not-these will be a heap of daily blahs.

Daily Blah 10/27/12:

Today I went to the Saturday session of stake conference. It was pretty good. I need to learn how to index. I don't think I even know what indexing is--precisely.

I hung out with some toddlers. We played with the McD's play set. Then we played piano. Then we danced to a happy birthday build-a-bear song. And laughed.

Went to a best friend's bachelorette party. We played charades. We made mini-wedding cakes (mine was more frosting than cake). Then we watched Barbie's Mermaidia. (It was really fun!)

Now, I'm sleepily writing this and thinking I should go to sleep, while listening to Frankie Lymon & the Teenagers. Yay.

I've got so much homework to do.

Goodnight.

Sincerely,

Erin (.^_^.)

p.s. daily blahs will not be a regular thing. It sounds like I was bored with my day but, really, it was really great! :) Plus, I feel weird about people knowing my day-to-day life.
This picture is really pretty. I love the rain.

Hello...

Dear Fellow Dreamer,

This is just a post to say, "Hello." I don't have much to say but, I have a feeling that everything is about to change so you may hear from me more often...or not. We'll just have to see!

I'm excited. 

Also, here's a monkey.

Sincerely,

Erin (.^_^.)

p.s. I think it's lame that music won't play on here anymore...anyone know of any sites that will still allow me to play music on my blog? T'ank ya!

With a Blank

Dear Fellow Dreamer,

It's been quite a while since I wrote to you last. When I try to write, sometimes I just come up with blanks. Like there's not much I can say. Or I just don't know what to say.

Well, here I am, again. Coming up with a blank. Sometimes I think something cool will just pop up in a blog post that I am writing. (Which is mostly wishful thinking. But, I am a dreamer, correct? Si. Correct. So, I will continue to write, I suppose.)

Dear friend, I do love writing, really and truly. It's one of my favorite things! And as Anne would say, It's a very 'romantic' idea.

Writing is a form of immortality. (So long as it's meant to be.) And, every part of language and writing, no matter what is being written, has a part of history to it. <These words are part of my past, my history. Cool, huh?

No? Well, I think it is. Pretty sweet to know that in a world that is so afraid of being forgotten, we will all be remembered in some way by someone, somewhere. (Or did that just sound cooler in my head? It's possible.)

(Sudden subject change! Bam!)

I'm constantly thinking of ways to improve myself, to accomplish something in this crazy life. My dear, change is hard. A song that I love, 'Til We Go' by Clara C, states that, "Change is the only constant we'll ever know..." It's true.

I find that the only constant in my life, is the Gospel. (And the love from my family, of course. They're amazing. I don't know how they do it-love me, for the crazy girl I am. But, I know that I love them and would do anything for them.) My Heavenly Father has been there for me, through, literally, thick and thin. He has listened to my complaints, hopes, dreams, worries, heartaches, and has always answered my prayers. (Whether I was listening, or refusing, to hear the merciful whispers, or the comforting, encouraging, shouts of love that were said in answer to prayers said before, there has always been an answer. Sometimes, I just get too stubborn and impatient to listen. Which, I realize soon afterwords, has been completely silly of me.) He's there. He listens and loves.

Christ. Jesus Christ. My older brother...what a wonderful example. I imagine Him to be watching the story of my life unfold, and saying, "I know, little sis, it hurts now but, it will get better soon. Just you wait. Great things are in store for you. Don't give up. I love you. I'm right here with you." It's crazy to know that He has felt all I have felt. Whew. What a crazy whirlwind. And what an Amazing older brother. I just want to give him a big hug! He went through all of that for me...for everyone I love, or don't know here...for everyone. I'm grateful for Him.

(haha. This is going to sound very strange but, when I re-read that last line, I thought of the little green men from Toy Story saying, "You saved our lives. We are eternally grateful." Silly thought but, true, nonetheless! :) )

I'm still trying to understand more of the Book of Mormon and the rest of the works but, I know the doctrine in them are true. I'm learning. Everyday. I'm going to try harder, though. If I plan on going on a mission next year, I need to be as prepared as I can to help those people and to learn more for myself. I'm no where near as ready as I feel I should at this point but, I'm trying. I have a lot to learn.

Well, I've written for...nearly over an hour now...wow.

It's not much, but it's my much. :)

Thanks for letting me ramble out my rambling thoughts to you, if you made it this far! And part of my ever growing testimony of the Gospel.

You are important, wonderful, brilliant, beautiful, talented, and loved. The way you are.

Keep loving, serving, dancing crazily, singing at the top of your lungs for no particular reason, laughing, and ever dreaming!

Sincerely,

Me (.^_^.)

Be Ok

Dear Fellow Dreamer,

This song you are listening to may, or may not, sum up how I am feeling at the moment.

Haven't we all felt this way at one time or another?

I believe so.

It will 'be ok.'

Keep smiling, praying, loving, holding on, and dreaming!

Sincerely,

Erin (.^_^.)

Clever Title, Play On Words

Dear Fellow Dreamer,

I do realize it's been a while since I have written in this thing called a blog but, I do have my reasons for withholding the bits of information and happenings in my life.......No, not really. I just didn't make the time. Alas, (I like that word.....alas...alas...tehe!) not everything in my life seems to be exciting enough to really share with the very few who do happen to read this.....stuff. I really am a sorry excuse for a writer, huh? I want to write, I do. I have all these ideas, but none of them seem to make it onto actual paper. It will happen, though......yes. It will.

Anyway, I will catch you up on what has happened since last I wrote. I got the job. Well, one of them...at a middle school as a Special Needs/Resource Aide. And, I'm trying for a second job, as well. It's at this kind of after-school/kindergarten/pre-school/daycare place. I will hopefully find out about that one within this next week. For Halloween, I spent time with my family. And for Thanksgiving, I spent time with my family. Both were really, really fun! I love my family. :)

I'm soooo excited for Christmas! All of my family will be together this year, and I can't wait! Together for Christmas...... I wish everyone could have that. To be surrounded by the ones they love. To have a nice, warm home to stay in.

I'm rambling again...sorry.

Well, today I'm sick with a sore throat. The situation pretty much stinks like old cheese.

Have you ever felt completely out of place? (jumping subjects, I know) Like you don't quite belong? Like there's some kind of concept on life that you suddenly skipped? Or some kind of memo you missed? Almost like you were invited to a costume party, but no one told you it was a costume party, so you show up looking like, well, yourself?

...I have. Quite a lot, actually. It's not that I've never felt like I belonged, no. It's that I seem to think so much differently than everyone else, that sometimes, when I share ideas or opinions that sound so brilliant in my head, people sometimes think they're just plain silly.

"Think. Think. Think."

"When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it." --A.A. Milne

I'm weird. I know I am. But, everyone is in their own way, right?

What I will leave you with is a book suggestion, and a quote: 1. Read 'Le Petit Prince,' or 'The Little Prince' by Antoine De Saint Exupery. My mom suggested it to me a few years ago, because it's one of her favorites, but I didn't read it all the way through until this year. Your life will never be the same if you read this brilliant book. I promise that it may just change the way we think about things. About life.

2. "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."--Le Petit Prince, Antoine De Saint Exupery

It is one of my favorite books, and you will not be disappointed. Thank you, mom, for sharing it with me. Love you!

Keep loving, living, and dreaming!

Sincerely,

Erin (.^_^.)